Okay, so I’m currently watching the opening to Episode 8 of Toradora! and I’m enjoying this… experience.
Watching something new.
And I’m pretty sure that although I love the series, I probably won’t be re-watching it any time soon.
Why? Because I usually don’t re-watch or reread things. I can’t name one fiction book I’ve reread in my life.
And when it comes to re-watching films or replaying games, I don’t enjoy those experiences as much.
Thanks to this, I understand why people say that they wish they could forget plots of series, so that they could experience them with fresh eyes, once more.
I… have been avoiding trying new things for a long, long time now. For example, songs, films, books, shows, games and other such things, for various reasons. (Not that I haven’t tried anything new… I’ve just been trying new things less.)
And that explains why I haven’t been… happy, that much.
I’ve been putting off doing certain things for years now, and I believe that if I were to let go of certain routines, I’d enjoy life more.
I mean, I’m in my 20s now. I feel like I’ve wasted my teenage years, in a sense. Yes, I’m glad that I’ m alive and somewhat well, and am also grateful for many things in my life.
But that doesn’t mean that I won’t feel regret for years to come.
One of the only ways I could make it up to myself is by “catching up”, whatever I mean by that.
When I compare my current self to my younger self, one of the things I envy most is the freedom I had.
What I mean by that is: when I wanted to do something, for myself, I did it. I didn’t overthink things like I do all the time nowadays.
I created things, tried new things… had fun.
Now, I’m not saying that I can’t do any of that now.
I could regain this freedom by changing the way I do things, and changing the way I think. Changing the way I live.
Since I’m an adult, I’ll have to take responsibility for many things, become more independent, and so on. Besides this, I’ll have to start taking more care of myself. Mentally, physically, emotionally.
In all the ways. Like how I’d treat my best friend. Because that’s how I should treat myself.
Thank you, once again, for reading. And have a lovely day.
– Abby
Leave a Reply