Okay, so, before I begin… I’ve decided to post at least once a day. I’m pretty sure I’ve already mentioned the idea of this being an online diary (I know I used the word “journal” before), and entries in a diary are written daily… I think. At least, I’m pretty sure.
Anyways, let’s get on to the topic of fears… my fears…
We’re getting a bit meta here, but I’ve been putting off writing a blog post on this topic for a few days. Maybe a week. Possibly longer. Why? Well, there are a few possible explanations.
First of all, I procrastinate often. In other words, put things off indefinitely. There are things I’ve been meaning to do, but still haven’t done.
The list keeps getting longer and longer… and there are some things I first decided to do years ago. The one thing I’ve wanted to do for nearly half of my life, literally, is start a YouTube channel.
I’m not quite sure why I’m sharing this here, but knowing that I’ve already told the world (figuratively) that that is what I want to do, might help get me started or whatever.
It could also have the opposite effect. But then again, I’ve already told dozens of people about this desire of mine.
I’d always come up with some excuse, some reason why I couldn’t do it. Why it wasn’t the right time (I have kind of written a post on that already).
I didn’t have a good enough computer… well, I have one now.
I didn’t have a microphone… I do now.
I didn’t have the time… you must be kidding.
And there are many other reasons I’ve probably had.
The problems I couldn’t fix are still there, but aren’t really problems to anyone but me. Such as: my voice. And my face. And everything else that is a part of who I am.
And other worries such as not knowing what to say. All of these were the result of a fear. Or a few. Such as the fear of failure, of being judged, of making a mistake, or the wrong decision.
And that’s all so dumb (I don’t mean to offend anybody – I’m only directing this at myself).
I get why I’ve had these fears. And maybe they did help me in some way. Maybe they didn’t. But I need to learn to ignore those thoughts and worries.
I’ll finish here for now. But will probably continue this at some point, in another post.
Thanks for reading.
– Abby
Leave a Reply