Hi.
I’m writing this blog post to share something I have once again noticed.
I’ve noticed this before — a few times actually — but I keep forgetting.
Okay, so… I need to wear glasses to see things clearly. To be able to read things and so on.
The one downside of wearing glasses is the fact that everything sorta appears flat. One continuous image.
Really flat.
I’m still watching that Poppy Playtime Chapter 3 video by 8-BitRyan. I’ve taken a few breaks, you see.
And when I take my glasses off, the rooms feel like rooms.
I don’t think that’s a good explanation.
But I’m being serious.
If I were to walk down a tunnel, with my glasses on, it would be as though I was looking at an image that kept changing as I “moved”.
But with my glasses off, I’d actually feel like I’m in a tunnel, a 3D… thing, and am making progress. Actually moving.
This might have something to do with my unhappiness of sorts, that I’ve had for a few years now. Everything looks and feels the same.
Flat.
My eyes get tired when I’m not wearing glasses, since I really have to focus and move closer to make things out.
Yesterday, I looked down a street with my glasses off, and I saw these oval shapes representing the light, I guess.
As in, I saw the car lights as these ovals, moving and such.
And the buses actually looked like moving cuboids. Rather than rectangles.
And that made me feel kinda sad, knowing that people actually get to see the world as it really is, while also taking this for granted, while I couldn’t.
Besides the bad eyesight, and the fact that everything appears flat while I have my glasses on, there’s also my double vision.
I see two separate images; one for each eye. The images are really close to each other. They also overlap too, and move as my eyes focus and… unfocus? That’s supposedly not a word. Whatever.
It’s annoying. I’ve spoken to my optician about trying these special lenses that Hillary Clinton used to wear (possibly still does, I don’t know) after suffering a traumatic brain injury.
I think I was told they wouldn’t help. But how would they know that? Why couldn’t I even try? I’m going to assume that they might not have had access to those…
I’ve also tried wearing contact lenses at a few points in time. But I could never manage to easily place them on my eyes.
I had to manage to put them on both eyes, three times, within one session.
And so I’d sit there for 30-60 minutes, trying to put them on.
I’m don’t remember how long.
And I just couldn’t do it. Because my left eye would close before I could put it on. It was so… frustrating.
I just wanted to see things properly… it’s so important for me, but I just couldn’t. My body was working against me, as always.
And I was told to wait another few months. Try touching my eyeball to help desensitize my eyes, I suppose.
I haven’t done that. But I can see how that would have helped.
One of the things stopping me from opening up and sharing personal details on the Internet is the fear that people will view me in a certain way.
Which is kinda dumb since we all place people into boxes and categories without even trying.
And I just can’t be bothered with stopping myself.
I just keep overthinking everything. And don’t let myself enjoy the things I want to enjoy.
This might have something to do with everything seeming fake. Because of these stupid glasses.
Screw glasses.
Have a nice day.
– Abby
Leave a Reply