MatPat

Ok, so… I usually wouldn’t do something like this, but it seems important enough for me to do.

And this is also the point at which I’ll have the most relevant thoughts or… whatever. I don’t know.

I just watched MatPat’s goodbye video. MatPat as in, Matthew Patrick. From the Game Theorists, the Film Theorists, the Food Theorists and GTLive YouTube channels.

And I hate when things like this happen. I mean, I understand that people have their own lives, and it probably hurts them more than it does me, and all of that.

I’m trying not to make it all about me and how I feel… it’s just that I… I guess that I find it difficult not to link things back to me.

To show that I relate, that I understand and that I care.

MatPat is one of those people I’d love to meet in real life.

I mean, I’ve heard the whole “don’t meet your heroes” idea before.

But… MatPat is someone I’d consider an idol of mine.

I wish that I could make an impact like he has. Not just for me, but for others too. I always have, and would like to believe that everyone desires to positively affect the world in some way.

When I was younger, like really young, I hoped that I would do something big. Like cure cancer or create a time machine.

I believed anything was possible, and thought that I could achieve anything I wanted.

Later on, I realised that I’m not as intelligent as I once thought, and not as capable as I once hoped I was. But that doesn’t mean anything.

In terms of what I could still achieve, for myself, and for others.

And this isn’t only about me. Anyone can achieve anything. Maybe with the right amount of effort, support, and time.

You can achieve anything.

So, back to what I was saying about Matthew (hopefully it’s okay for me to refer to him by his name…), I started watching his videos back in 2014, I believe, after he posted his first Five Nights at Freddy’s theory.

I might be wrong, I’m not exactly sure, but I have watched him for many years and he has always been one of my most favourite creators ever.

I find it hard to decide because first of all, these are living people, and they all might mean as much to you in different ways.

I don’t view myself as similar to MatPat. In terms of a few things. Maybe intellect. Possibly in terms of interests. I don’t know.

What I mean is, I’d love to achieve what he has, but in my own way. As my own person.

Everyone’s different. He’s the first and only MatPat there’ll ever be. And I’m the only me there’ll ever be.

He was the first person to do what he has done. And so, I will be the first one to do what I will, with my life.

And so will you. You are your own person. And you have all the potential you need to reach your goals. To achieve your dreams.

One thing that pains me, in a sense, is that even though I’m aware of the fact that people are more than numbers… I, personally, might never be seen as more than a number, by my idols… the people I look up to.

I want to give back to the people who’ve inspired me, and helped me in my life.

Through the use of my “gifts”, you could say. As those are for giving back to the world.

As of yet, I don’t feel like I deserve to name “creativity” as a gift of mine, since I haven’t really created anything worth sharing with anyone.

But one day… I wish to… hmm… I’ve just remembered something I’ve read…

I’m pretty sure that there were these lines mentioned in Steal Like an Artist (by Austin Kleon)… give me a second to check. Found it.

“If you truly love somebody’s work, you shouldn’t need a response from them.”

“Maybe your hero will see your work, maybe he or she won’t. Maybe they’ll respond to you, maybe not. The important thing is that you show your appreciation without expecting anything in return, and that you get new work out of the appreciation.”

Just to make sure that I don’t get in trouble for quoting that… let me repeat. Those quoted sentences are from the book Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon.

Just to make sure that I- ooh! An idea!

I remember having this one dream I had featuring MatPat!

Right now, I was thinking about how I could create something, to pay homage to him. And that sounds like a really cool idea.

I don’t want to spoil anything or… but I procrastinate all the time… and might never end up starting… hmm…

I’ll think about it. Sorry!

Thank you for reading. It’s been a pleasure writing this. Have a lovely day!

– Abby